what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Randomize