its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
