I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
