"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
