well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
