let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize