Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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