I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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