It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
