im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
