no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Randomize
