The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
