Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Randomize
