My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Randomize
