If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
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