I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
