oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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