normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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