I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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