Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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