Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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