She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
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