I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize