i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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