Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize