i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
