The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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