I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
