There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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