So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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