when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
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