yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
