I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
