I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm like, not good at living.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
