sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
