I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
