His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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