My boss' voice literally gives me gas
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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