Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
