Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
