he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize