good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
