Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I am never drinking with the goths again.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
