My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Randomize
