Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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