Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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