Im at strip club and am horny
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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