apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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