also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
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