you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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