I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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