four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
