He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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