So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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