my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I'm passing your future prison.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Randomize
