Tell her she can't have a vagina
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
