"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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