She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
