She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
