i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
