I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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