just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
