I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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